I don't know percisely when I started hating myself
I just remember it as a turning point in my life
I remember waking up that morning
I remember looking in the mirror
And I remember the rush of emotions that took control
I don't trust anything anymore
And sometimes I need to escape
I assume we all need to escape sometimes
But I couldn't run far enough
Fast enough
And I ended up in the exact same place
Right here
Now of course it's metaphorically speaking
But I wish I didn't know what was coming next
The more I build myself up
The faster I'm going to fall apart
All my friends say I need a girlfriend
Someone who will love me for me
It makes me want to turn to them
And ask them
"Isn't that what friends are for?"
But I guess not all the time
Sometimes they are just there to chain me to the wall
To keep me from running for my life into heavy traffic
And every time they leave me I run head first into danger

Maybe this time I will do it for a girl?
There are a million thoughts that run through my head
That has to be the one that keeps coming back
Maybe my friends are right
After all you should listen to your friends
They won't leave me for dead, right?
Oh, well...
This stuff confuses me greatly
Is it just me?
It's not like it's a first time for me?
Why the hell is everything wrong now?
Is it a crime for me to be happy?
What's so wrong with something good happening to me?
I still treat everyday as a new day
Maybe it's me being naive again
I hate it...
I really do...